Mi Cultura, Mi Raza- Hispanic Heritage Month TX Latino Bloggers Tour

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My paternal abuelos Kina and Alfredo.

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A food lover since 1982

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My maternal abuelos Andres and Lilia

I come from a long line of fighters, lovers, chingones, comelones….. My raza is quite  a comidic one, dramatic, and loving, but most importantly, I come from a family that instilled a proud Hispanic heritage. I always remember my abuelita Kina’s words, “Si te dicen que sus huevos cuelgan, tu diles que los tuyos arastran.” And that is what it means to be Hispanic. You persevere, you’re proud , and you keep moving in the direction of happiness. What my parents have sowed, 32 years ago,  grew into beautiful strong seedlings who’s Mexican roots have now become entwined and buried deep in the heart of Texas.

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Mi Papi and Mami

Long before my 5 beautiful sisters and I were born, my parents decided that they would do what ever it took to build a life worth living for their children. Over the years my parents have sacrificed so much for us, and for this I will forever be grateful,  but I think the biggest sacrifice was leaving their roots, their home in Mexico to move to a country  who’s cultura was totally different from theirs. My papi  has said many times that this move has been only for the best. They wanted us to have an opportunity to thrive, to grow, be educated, be free to have options and to choose which ever path we wanted to tread no matter how many times we tripped. My papi  said, “You go to college, or you go to college.” So this country has allowed all 6 of us to have an education, work, a safer place to live.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my Mexico lindo…their papas preparadas, taquitos de la calle, tortillas made in the mollino, homemade milk bolis , and the elotes from my abuelos neighbor with homemade mayo and chilito….Aye, Diosito Mio, That’s my mero mole

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Mami and Papi

It was a  struggle, for my parents, to keep those hispanic roots strong in a country who’s American culture is so different and overwhelming.  I remember my mom pulling me out of billingual class in the 2nd grade because she wanted me to be exposed to English as much as possible. She said a teacher once told her, “School will teach your children English, you will teach your daughters Spanish.” That’s exactly what my parents did. They didn’t allow us to stray and become “Americanized” but yet they exposed us and taught us to appreciate, but never take advantage of, this beautiful country that has allowed us to do so much. I remember my mami taking us to the zoo, to market square, Fiesta…everything that was free…we were there lol…always finding ways to expose us to San Antonio.

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My abuela Kina and I

Celebrating Hispanic Heritage month is so important for us Latinos. I’m a  first generation Mexican-American. A proud Hispana who’s cultura means so much and its important to continue appreciating our roots. When I think about what it means to be hispanic I picture my family gathered around the table playing loteria, echando unas carcahadas, and eating. I remember us as children playing with the mangera outside, in the mud puddles, and my mami screaming at us “vayanse para fuera“…go outside and play….  Stopping the paletro and buying a wpid-img_29465253191960.jpegcucumber with chamoy….

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Rio Frio

Its a beautiful sight to see our cultura thriving in America, in our old San Antonio, in my nephews…in our children. So,  next time someone talks to you in English and somehow…you don’t even know cuando…acabo en Espanol…be proud…because THAT is our Latino culture entangled in America, the beautiful  place we call home.

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Twisted Mix Tape-My Summer musical montage

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So Twisted Mix Tape is back!! I’m excited and ready for the challenge….besides, I’ve been having blogging brain toots and this is the perfect thing to get me going.

My summer was filled with music of all sorts but to be honest with you the ones that I can’t get out of my head are my cumbia oldies but goodies….mostly because my boyfriend recently joined a conjunto band named  Conjunto Sereno and I get excited and sentimental when I hear music that reminds me of my family, growing up, and my days as a quincenera cumbia dancing queen LOL, or so I want to believe that my dancing abilities blow everyone away. Conjunto/ Tejano  is danced a lot different than cumbias so the bf has to push me to dance, but I always secretly want to. There’s a lot of competition from all the old fogies. It’s intimidating!

So, I have spent my summer being chicle (bubble gum) to my boyfriend. I’ve been going with him to the gigs and he LOVES  it,  but wants to be all cool about me being chicle. I’m glad that he’s opened the door of conjunto music for me and I always enjoy hearing him practice….gives me time to blog and get things done.  Anyways, my mix tape is a combination of songs Conjunto Sereno covers. One, because I can’t get them out of my head. Two, because I wanted to post the originals, the way I remember while growing up, but mostly because I have yet to record a gig of theirs….and also because I get a kick out of these music videos.

1. La del Mono Colorado- Los Pedernales.

2. Te He Prometo_ Leo Dan

3.  El Coco Rayado- Ruben Vela

4. Golpes en el Corazon- Los Tigres del Norte

5. Mi Destino- Conjunto Sereno

So while I was looking on YouTube I found this song. My BF caught me singing it the other day while doing laundry.

Home is where the heart is

Throughout our life Diosito presents us with these wonderful progressive opportunities to transition from our current life to different life. Some gracefully skate through these transitions. They embrace their surroundings and glide though these moments untouched, free of worry…music full blast…their confidence intact. I, on the other hand, have always been that chunky gordita, at Skate Land, trying to skate…legs shaking…falling on my nalgas and secretly wishing I was one of those pretty, skinny girls zooming past me. This is exactly how I handle change. Lately, I’ve been hit with a chingaso of change so I feel like that chunky little girl holding on to the rails for dear life. Sad to say, I’m comfortably ok with holding on.

The other day as I furiously went Rambo on my yearly summer rancho ant infestation…ok…so I wasn’t the valiant Rambo I wish I was…I kinda flew over the cuckoo’s nest. I cried.  These are demon ants from hell! They are everywhere, nothing kills them and I’m sure they conspire at night in attempts to drive me out. I imagine them in my restroom aka “The war room” plotting ways to make my life a living hell…So,  in my ant induced stressed and deranged state of mind, my boyfriend decides to ask me to move in with him. I’m happy he wants to be the fearless Darrel (Walking dead ) who rescues me from these zombie ants but that threw me over the bridge. I’m moving at work, I’m going to school, a rekindled relationship…talks of a new car, a washing machine that doesn’t make noise or shake the whole house…anxiety from my grocery list for 2. Seeing all that food on my list threw me into food anxiety mood. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been shedding a lot of tears lately and I’ve had a few food sneaky sneakies.

My home, my casitia,  is…me…my own…my safety. Those cracked walls with peeling paint have seen me through thick and thin.They know my tears and they know my laughter.  I love my little piece of old ranchito heaven…well…I don’t love the crazy ants but I love everything else. Although I love my papasito and I know that it is him I want to be with… my initial reaction was a freak out…at night…in the shower and if I wasn’t always with him all the time, I’m sure I Quotes About Moving On 0043-45 (6)would of had a late night therapy session with my favorite beau, a bucket of dulce de leche ice cream. That is my favorite kind of therapy.

Anyways, that chingaso has really forced me to stop and take a look at what is happening around me.  I feel sad that I’m losing everything that has been a constant in my life even if most of what’s changing I want to leave behind. I feel that in all aspects of my life, all my old chapters are closing. Moving from  mi casita viejita symbolically represents that change. My boyfriend talked about what I don’t need because he can provide and I took it personal. I  felt that all MY old things, my comforts, were being tossed out. Everyone who knows me knows I’m a recovering hoarder. Well…ok…I kinda still, I just like to say I’ve recovered.  I’m aware of this and I’m aware that half of the things that I can’t let go should be let go.  I had a knot in my throat, pero me aguante because I know that I can’t be holding on to useless things. Old things, torn thing, things that no longer serve their purpose….litteraly….and metaphoricaly thinking. But…like always…I can’t help but to want to hold on for dear life…like that chunky little girl at Skate Land.

So…today I went home after school to try to confront my change. Those last staggering rain drops and the smell of tierita  mojada you can only find when you’re  surrounded by sweet mother nature made the walk to my back door a lot harder. It helped that my 3yr old nephew was holding my hand. He saw me crying and he said, “Tia, no llora. Let’s go.”

109564-Great+life+quotes+thoughts+choSo with my nephew there to keep me company, I started going through my things. I took picture frames off the wall…my walls bare, stripped of all memories, but I felt happy and for the first time in a long time I ran with that happiness. I allowed myself to accept the love, embrace forgiveness, allow help….his hugs and kisses, the comfort he gives my heart, and the love he shows me daily. I allowed my anxiety to pass through like that cool breeze that passes though my house on rainy days. I decided that I’m going to embrace all these beautiful shifts, mostly because only by embracing these transitions will I allow myself to let go of the old.