So, my coworker, Connie, has a son that works at Panda Express….Aye, Dios mio….this began my passionate love affair with Panda Express….I would anxiously wait for the days that she would bring me left overs. A lil bit of this, a lil bit of that, fried rice, crab rangoons. Oh, how I rejoiced when we would have crab rangoon days. I’d wake up and my first thoughts were of Pandie. Would I see you today? Would I smell that delicious aroma of orange chicken. Oh, it was an obsessive love. How I craved it…thoughts of it filled my mind and all I could say was “Aye, Que Rico“. And Oh, I would feel sad when Connie would tell me she forgot the Panda left overs at home. I knew she was conspiring against me and Panda Express. It was a perfect perfect love. It loved me and I loved their honey walnut shrimp. Everything was perfect until I tried wearing a pair of skinny jeans. Unfortunately,my pants started getting tight, and my boobs bigger ( but I sure am not complaining about that). I was sooooooo torn!!! Oh, how I wept at night because my Pandie, the very thing that made me happy, was giving me heart burn. I bargained, thought about ways to be sneaky, I begged Diosito to give my tummy the strength it needed to not get gassy. “I can buy a case of tums at SAMs.”, I thought. My boobs are bigger but maybe if I rub crisco on my pansa I can squeeze into the size negative zero that I am. There was no solution. I had to walk away. My days were gloomy and how I missed Connie’s surprise Panda lunch. I thought I wouldn’t survive with out my Panda but I did….I survived and dropped the 10 pounds I gained. It was a hard recovery without Pandie…… UNTIL TODAY!! Connie told me that they were giving a free serving of a new entree. One last sneaky sneaky won’t hurt. I thought about it until the only solution was to starve myself all day to eat a heavy calorie meal. Needless to say, I guess today is my cheat day. Oh, how I missed you Crab Rangoon… I left with a full meal, a soda, and a big smile on my face because I got a discount!!! So one last sneaky sneaky didn’t hurt…. Unless Connie’s son tells her I walked out of there with a full meal. Eek! I’ll be in trouble with my fake mama.